


Shh

by ShortcakeCrow



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Gen, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 08:19:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19764238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShortcakeCrow/pseuds/ShortcakeCrow
Summary: The first time it happens, it takes him a moment to take note of it - it’s late at night but he hasn’t finished his homework yet, having taken much too many breaks to thoughtlessly chew the end of his pencil reminiscing on things he shouldn’t even be thinking about right now. At first, it’s just cold sweat, and he furrows his brows as he shoots a glance in the direction of the thermometer. His shoulders feel heavy and his chest tight. He clutches his pen harder to steady his hand, but it doesn’t help much, and only a couple more seconds pass before he realises how shallow his breathing’s become, and he softly lets a curse slip as the pen clatters from his hand to the floor.





	Shh

**Author's Note:**

> a v self indulgent fic about my boy gucci,,, i havent written anything in so long much less anything related to haikyuu but i rewatched the entire series recently and today i got really in the mood so heres a short lil vignette or whatever you wanna call it

The first time it happens, it takes him a moment to take note of it - it’s late at night but he hasn’t finished his homework yet, having taken much too many breaks to thoughtlessly chew the end of his pencil reminiscing on things he shouldn’t even be thinking about right now. At first, it’s just cold sweat, and he furrows his brows as he shoots a glance in the direction of the thermometer. His shoulders feel heavy and his chest tight. He clutches his pen harder to steady his hand, but it doesn’t help much, and only a couple more seconds pass before he realises how shallow his breathing’s become, and he softly lets a curse slip as the pen clatters from his hand to the floor.

_Oh, fuck._

It only lasts for a couple minutes at most, but it feels like eternity, the adrenaline rush he feels slowing his perception of time down even more. The memory that triggered it is clear as day in his head - he can see the ball leave his hand and crash into the net in slow motion, landing on the wrong side of the court. He can’t tell how many people are staring at him because his eyes are still locked onto the net, but he’s sure it’s everyone, he’s sure it’s every single person in that damn gym and he just wants to curl up in a corner and hide from their disappointed and accusatory looks.

When he finally returns to his senses, he realises he’s sitting on the floor, the pen he’d dropped inches from his hand. His shirt is uncomfortably damp, and his hands still tremble a little as he staggers to his feet on unsteady legs.

* * *

The second time it happens, he recognises the feeling.

He’d asked Tsukishima about it the next morning at school, innocently, as though he’d read about it in a comic and had gotten curious. Tsukishima is smart; when Yamaguchi was small, he used to think Tsukki knew all the answers to the secrets of the universe, and while perhaps that assumption had changed considerably over time, he still can’t help but turn to him in these situations.

Tsukishima didn’t scoff when he inquired. He didn’t even look up from his phone, which made talking to him considerably easier, without the feeling that his sharp eyes would immediately be able to detect any sort of secret Yamaguchi was trying to hide. He rattled off a dictionary definition before rephrasing it slightly to make it easier to understand, and Yamaguchi was on his own phone within moments, googling the phrase Tsukishima had used.

It’s lunch break, Yamaguchi Tadashi is clutching the sink in the boys’ bathroom tightly enough for his knuckles to have turned a pale white, and he’s pretty sure he just had a panic attack.

He washes his hands quickly, splashing some cold water on his face for good measure, and looks straight ahead as he heads back to class.

* * *

He loses count after a while - most of the time they come without warning and leave just as suddenly, and he becomes too exhausted to keep track. They aren’t that common, he doesn’t think, and he’s sort of starting to get a handle on them, he’s sure. Or at least that’s what he wants to think, because it’s easier than admitting that something is really wrong here.

Maybe part of him thinks it’s justified after that match.

The concerned glances thrown his way don’t escape his attention this time, however, and his stomach tightens as he flashes a small, sheepish smile back at each of them. Later on, when he gets home, his eyes are glued to the screen yet again for the next couple hours as he turns to websites he’d visited many times before for help.

* * *

_“Take a deep breath. Just breathe.”_

Tsukishima’s voice is faint and distant, but Yamaguchi is able to pick up on it nevertheless, and he attempts to do as he’s instructed, everything around him spinning as though the world had turned into a carousel. Or the changing room, at the very least - it’s just the two of them in there now, and Yamaguchi’s shirt is tucked into his goddamn underwear and he’s pretty sure he’s about to turn into a ragdoll and flop onto the floor any second now.

But he doesn’t, and he soon realises it’s because Tsukishima is holding him up. The feeling helps him ground his senses in reality, and Tsukishima helps him to the nearest bench, a water bottle ready in his hand in case Yamaguchi needs it.

There isn’t a single hint of irritation on his face, uncharacteristically, and Yamaguchi suddenly feels a rush of relief so strong he would’ve surely been knocked off his feet this time around if he was still standing.

When practice is over, Tsukishima walks him home, and after they finally part ways, Yamaguchi studies the little notepad Tsukishima had lent him, his neat, clean handwriting sprawling many pages with important and helpful notes.

Yamaguchi buys him a soda the next morning.


End file.
